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Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
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Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
tony horton video chat
11/28/12 10:45 AM
Hey kids! During one of my recent Team Beachbody video chats, Steph Saunders and I got a question from a Team Beachbody member who wanted to know how to have their family support them in their journey. Press "play" below to hear what I said..and don't take the advice I give at first!

Don't forget to check the schedule of upcoming chats to find out when I'll be chatting next so that you can get your question answered.



Have your family and friends been supportive in your journey? Has your journey influenced their own transformation?.

- Tony

Editor's Note: If the video above doesn’t appear or play for you, you can click here to view it in a new window.
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RE: Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
11/23/12 5:52 AM as a reply to P90XTonyHorton.
My Mom is an ass when it comes to me trying to eat right. Since I live with her she makes me eat what she fixes and constantly tells me I will never loose the weight because of how old I am. When I get the chance I show her people who are older than me and that have lost 20 or more pounds. It ticks her off but she still does the shit all the time. So I do try to eat right and when it comes to the meals she fixes I don't eat a lot of it. Untill I can make more money and get out from under her roof I have to eat her food if that's what she wants to call it.
Thanks so much for this video because it made me feel better and I laughed a lot because of it. :-D
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RE: Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
11/23/12 8:16 AM as a reply to P90XTonyHorton.
Thank you for this. My mom is finally on the path to a healthier diet and life style. She has always wanted that just never knew where to start. She always supported the fact that I was putting in some effort when I first started using BB products. I stuck and still sticking to it day 50 of Revabs with my boyfriend. Through example my mom jumped on board and well we'll see how things go but I have a great feeling about it.

My boyfriends family on the other hand constantly brings up our eating habits. We are vegetarians and for the most part organic conscious eaters. It has taken such a long time to get to this point with my eating habits I find I really loose my patient after awhile. Every single time we go over our eating habits are mentioned or seem like such a hassle for them. I love Tony's punch em in the face advice lol. Wish I could wake people up that way and it would actually work. But I guess that would be to easy. Although it is super annoying and they don't know when to stop soemtimes I continue on my journey and hope that they choose to come along one day because I'm not going anywhere but forward in my health fitness and successful life. This video chat is just what I needed thankful for every breath. <3
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RE: Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
11/23/12 10:08 AM as a reply to P90XTonyHorton.
Well, for me it's different. So far everything's gone so smooth that i'm a little bit surprised myself. But i do feel you who got relatives that are difficult on you.
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RE: Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
11/23/12 11:01 AM as a reply to P90XTonyHorton.
This question is so for me.

P90XTonyHorton:
Hey kids! During one of my recent Team Beachbody video chats, Steph Saunders and I got a question from a Team Beachbody member who wanted to know how to have their family support them in their journey. Press "play" below to hear what I said..and don't take the advice I give at first!

Don't forget to check the schedule of upcoming chats to find out when I'll be chatting next so that you can get your question answered.



Have your family and friends been supportive in your journey? Has your journey influenced their own transformation?.

- Tony

Editor's Note: If the video above doesn’t appear or play for you, you can click here to view it in a new window.
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RE: Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
11/23/12 11:42 AM as a reply to P90XTonyHorton.
Good stuff!
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RE: Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
11/23/12 12:01 PM as a reply to naturalfitness.
There's only one reason: Jealousy.
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RE: Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
11/23/12 12:39 PM as a reply to P90XTonyHorton.
is he saying men over 32 should not do body beast because we wont get results?
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RE: Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
11/23/12 3:49 PM as a reply to P90XTonyHorton.
When we face that kind of rejection sometimes we feel alone. Is good to know that we are not the only ones dealing with these kind of rejections, it gives us strength. Yes it's tempting to try to punch them in the face...lol. I face this situation every day with everyone around me. Sometimes I even have to cook one healthy meal for myself and another for my family -of course making it as healthy as I can. Even though my husband tells me he does understand, he loves food and that wins over his needs most of the time. But you are very right Tony, people notice what you do and those who love you do take your example. Unfortunately for the majority it becomes their own battle deciding to do the right thing and when to get started. For some is not easy to just see and replicate, it takes them time to make a true commitment. I believe in my health and in myself very much, and I have been so inspired by you in so many ways that I have learned to focus my energy where I need to...in my own journey. It hurts to see my husband, my daughters and even my mother struggle with their unhealthy habits, but if I cannot help them change that I will certainly be here still working hard for when they are ready. The key for me has been to not make them feel less but empowered over their own decision...I just stay put waiting for that time.

Thanks Tony. You have helped me see the light in many ways. I love what you do and inspire me to keep pressing forward keeping my head up high even when I feel at times everything around me crumbles down and feel alone. I will say to those facing the same thing to stay positive and focused. If you can't find the support you need within your circle, you'll find it in professionals like Tony Horton and support circles like Beachbody.com. Thanks again for the inspiration and the smile you brought to my face Tony. emoticon
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RE: Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
11/23/12 8:28 PM as a reply to runningwind4.
I am in the same situation basically. I'm 22 years old and live with my dad and I'm on a tight budget at the moment until I get bills paid off. He gets upset with me when I act like what he's making isn't something I should be eating. Don't get me wrong, he can cook very well. Just certain things I try to limit how much I eat of it or find something else not as bad that fits my budget. I'm not able to eat like other health "freaks" so I just try to limit how much bad things I intake until financial situations improve and I am able to get my own place. Thank you for sharing, nice to know I'm not the only one in this kind of predicament.
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RE: Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
11/24/12 4:11 AM as a reply to P90XTonyHorton.
Tony, your timing has always been spot on. You know why I was the one taking my original starting photo...Dave was sure I wasn't going to change my life style. Now he is my biggest supporter and we have stuck with it for over 4 years now. Just the other day, Rosa, like so many. reached out to me in tears feeling no family support. I have just share this link with her. We feel so blessed to have you and the whole Beachbody family in our life!
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RE: Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
11/24/12 6:09 AM as a reply to P90XTonyHorton.
Your timing with this subject couldn't be better. Not supportive? How about flat-out trying to ruin my success? I have people trying to sabotage me at what seems to be EVERY TURN. My neighbor has been obsessed with bringing pie and cupcakes to my door even after I tell her please don't do this. She did this to me again just last night. My family comes for dinner and brings all kinds of food with them, then gets angry with me for telling them to take it with them, leaving it here at my house anyway. I don't understand, it almost seems like they literally WANT me to put the weight back on. I honestly feel that way, and it is making me a bit resentful of these people. I would like to, as Tony described, "punch them in the face!"

-Ann Miller
Dayton, OH
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RE: Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
11/24/12 7:00 AM as a reply to amiller72.
amiller72:
Your timing with this subject couldn't be better. Not supportive? How about flat-out trying to ruin my success? I have people trying to sabotage me at what seems to be EVERY TURN. My neighbor has been obsessed with bringing pie and cupcakes to my door even after I tell her please don't do this. She did this to me again just last night. My family comes for dinner and brings all kinds of food with them, then gets angry with me for telling them to take it with them, leaving it here at my house anyway. I don't understand, it almost seems like they literally WANT me to put the weight back on. I honestly feel that way, and it is making me a bit resentful of these people. I would like to, as Tony described, "punch them in the face!"

-Ann Miller
Dayton, OH


Try "Return to sender". After your neighbor goes home, walk to her residence and place it in front of the neighbor's front door. Some people convince themselves that since you "accepted it anyway" your protestations were merely polite nothings, and not sincere.

Or just use a trash bag for any unwanted food. "Thank you, but I'm on a strict diet, and any foods I cannot eat at this phase in my diet must go in the trash. Please! Take it home with you! If you leave it, it won't be eaten."

As far as your family, some people hold to the notion that it is very rude to take home food brought to a host's residence, and if they are of that mindset, you need to make it clear that while you appreciate the thought (free food! You don't have to cook!) you are dedicated to your current dietary plan.

Use some variation of this: "I appreciate the thought, but my doctor wants me on this dietary plan." (Yep, you're throwing your primary care physician under the bus until they respect your boundaries.)

When you consistently set appropriate boundaries, after an initial testing period, other adults will respect your boundaries. (Boundaries by Henry Cloud is a good read, btw, to help with this.)
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RE: Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
11/24/12 8:24 AM as a reply to P90XTonyHorton.
P90X rocks!!

I took away from this video that body beast is a waste of time. I already knew this, but it sounds good coming from the "Man". Thanks Tony!!
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RE: Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
11/24/12 12:56 PM as a reply to P90XTonyHorton.
I've been working out since I was a teen - over 40 years! It's paid off, no one comes even close to guessing my age, even my face looks years younger.

Back when I first started to eat healthy and work out I got A LOT of resistance from my family and friends. I had friends (two sisters who, incidentally, were always on diets) try to force me to eat sweets and fatty food. They would sneak up behind me and touch the food to my lips and say "ok, now you have to eat it, it touched your lips." Polite protesting did not help. One day I took the food and threw it in the garbage. My friends whined that I was "sneaky." Surprisingly their mother, who had also tried to force me to eat unhealthy foods, stood up for me. She told her daughters I was not sneaky, they had no business trying to force food on me after I had said I didn't want it.

Both my parents were very antagonistic regarding my workouts. They thought muscles on women were unattractive. It seemed they wanted me to weak, squishy, fat and a doormat. I wanted to study martial arts but they insisted I "just wanted to fight." I have no idea where they came up with that one. Martial arts not only teaches you self defense, it teaches you when and how to use it. It's not about fighting, it's about confidence, grace, balance and strength. I tried to tell my parents that but they refused to listen or even talk it over with a martial arts instructor. They just flat out refused to let me do it. I finally did study martial arts - when I was 40!

Back when I was a teen, the stronger and healthier I wanted to be, the more my parents hated it. They discouraged me from sports even though I loved sports and really wanted to participate. The truth is I got zero support from everyone. I didn't even get support from school teachers or gym teachers. I wasn't a star athlete and looked rather fragile so the gym teachers blew me off as weak and unathletic. They wouldn't even let me try even though I asked repeatedly, instead they focused on the most athletic in the class. The truth was and still is that I am actually very athletic. I remember right after college someone who I had thought was my friend asked me to play on her volleyball team. She told me she needed an extra body or her team couldn't play but I should let everyone cover for me because she knew I wasn't going to be any good. I knew she was going to end up with egg on her face and I really wanted to play so I joined. Anyway, either my former "friend" told everyone that I couldn't play volleyball or everyone was as stupid as she was. The first night we played I served first. I watched and listened as the fools on the opposing team giggled and elbowed each other, saying it would be easy to get me out. I made my first serve. Now it was my turn to laugh. That's right, the opposing team, who thought it was going to be so easy to get me out, missed my serve. Their jaws dropped to the ground and their eyes popped out of their heads. They missed all of my serves, that is until my last serve, which they finally got. I almost won the game for my team on my serve alone and my "friend," who had called me athletic was standing there looking like an idiot. No one from that crew ever called me unathletic or weak again. My teammates, except my former friend who hated to be proven wrong, all told me what a great job I did and at the end of the season asked me to play again.

I am not interested in pity, sympathy, empathy or any other such thing. The intent of my sharing this story is to provide proof to everyone that a person can choose to live a healthy lifestyle, make healthy food choices, work out to develop their body as they wish despite being surrounded by unsupportive, negative people. My healthy choices have paid off in so many ways. As I continued to choose to live a healthy lifestyle, I met others who were like me and therefore were supportive. Unsupportive, negative people stayed away. I was no longer deemed unathletic or weak. People wanted me on their sports teams because I was good, not because they needed an extra body. Even my parents finally came around. Now they tell me how smart I am to do weight bearing exercise and eat healthy as it keeps so many age related diseases at bay.
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RE: Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
11/24/12 5:01 PM as a reply to P90XTonyHorton.
LOL! Such a huge issue that I am dealing with right now. Growing and changing and realizing that people don't like that can feel lonely. THANK GOD for Beachbody and all the people/coaches that I have pulled into my life! And I love Tony's humor! Thanks!
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RE: Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
11/24/12 5:22 PM as a reply to P90XTonyHorton.
This was my question during the live chat!!!! Super cool to be on the front page and read everyone else's response about how they had the same struggles with friends and family! Glad I wasn't the only one!!!!
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RE: Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
11/24/12 6:41 PM as a reply to AndrewRegister.
I just posted on my blog this morning something very similar. Our biggest competitor as Team Beachbody coaches is not each other or other products, it is the status quo of our culture that says it is normal to gain weight, get sick, and be tired, stiff, and diseased as we grow older. All of which, for the most part, are consequences of day to day choices.

We know it doesn't have to be that way and as leaders in this wellness industry we can only set the example and work to influence others to make better choices too. The challenge is to get others to see what we see without judging them, at least that is the challenge I encounter. Most people want to change but they don't want to be told to change and our new lifestyle of fitness and health tells them in many ways that it is a matter of personal responsibility and to some degree laziness, complacency, and outright self-neglect.

Hang in their guys, we can do this, let's stick together and kick this obesity thing in its big fat a$$ (even when it might be our own). That is what I did and if I can do it I am sure anyone else can too.
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RE: Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
11/24/12 8:01 PM as a reply to AndrewRegister.
AndrewRegister:
P90X rocks!!

I took away from this video that body beast is a waste of time. I already knew this, but it sounds good coming from the "Man". Thanks Tony!!


Lol did I miss the Body Beast part??
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RE: Is Your Family (or Friends) Not Supportive?
11/25/12 4:42 PM as a reply to P90XTonyHorton.
Tony you are absolutely right! Your family and friends get used to the idea that you made the change in the right direction. When I first started p90x it was hassle city from my family. As a couple years went on and I was still with my healthy habits I got my mom on my side and the rest was history! I even got her to start power 90 and she's down 20 lbs and in the best shape of her life, her joint problems (among other health complications) vanished! Plus our relationship is the strongest it's ever been :')

Now the next step is getting my father (who's diabetic) and my brother (who's weight keeps increasing) with us ;)
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