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I'm finding it hard to keep this food journal. I guess I don't really have any excuses why other than I just haven't been disciplined enough with it. If I don't write out exactly what I'm eating each day, how will I figure out my caloric defecit?

My workouts have been pretty good but I haven't been recording those either so I MUST get back to it. I think that at the moment, I'm doing the right things, my weight is going down and I think my shape is starting to change just the tiniest amount. As for my diet, I like the idea of kinda eating the same thing daily, but I can't be too strict because I've dampened my love of cooking and I don't want to do that. I just have to try to strike some sort of balance. Also, another reason to not be too strict on exactly what it is I eat, is that sometimes I've gotta clean out the fridge and use what's there! Today is one of those days. Anyway, time for a coffee and to start my day.

I'm pretty decided that I'm NOT going in to work tonight. I hate when they make me feel responsible for covering shifts out of the blue. I help out A LOT so I shoulnd't be making myself feel so guilty.

I had a moment last night when I just kinda got lost as staring at my body in the mirror. It was weird. I really felt strange at how I just let my body be this way. That *I* did this to myself with poor diet and lack of excerise. Not to be too hard on myself, for the last few years I've always had an on again off again affair with my physical activity, but I have NEVER had a grip on my diet. This is the first time I actually know exactly how much of each thing I'm eating. Well, not everything, just calories and fat, but that's the basics I need to know for now. I'm sure I'm getting in enough protein and veggies etc too.

This morning Chalene posted a note that stated

Treat yourself like an overweight out of shape person and that is what you will be. Why not train/treat yourself like an athlete?

So True! I had a thought last night to help me do this. Every time I walk to the fridge for whatever reason I need to stop first and ask 2 of my dearest friends, which one of you brought me here? Is it you Tummy? Do you need to refuel? or is it you Brain? Cuz if it's you.. this fridge door isn't gonna open. I'm aware of the fact that I eat to fill some sort of emotional void or boredem. I love cooking too though so that's another reason why sometimes Brain speaks louder than tummy. I need to focus my creativity and love of cooking when I do my weekly meal plan.. then let it go, so my mind doesn't have the need to run amuck with ideas of what I can toss down my throat. I need to eat FUEL to power my ATHELETIC body! And with that, no more dilly dallying here, Coffee is on and I've got housework to do and a workout to look forward to. :)

So after a rather successful week, I had a few days off and totally killed my diet and exercise. I feel like I pretty much reversed all the hard work I did last week with the exception of maybe still building some muscle. To get back on track, I came up with another weekly diet that I think I can stick to. Since i know I usually miss a couple of items for the daily plan, the caloric total is a little higher than what I planned for last week but I think it'll just allow me to swap one or two things each day. I also consiered how I can take my meals with me. I worked out the last couple days and did well. I'm short on time now though if I'm gonna get through today well prepared so off for a shower and then my first meal of the day. BACK TO THE FOOD BLOG EVEN ON BAD DAYS! I love how I secretly just didn't write in my caloric intake on my "bad" days. I wish I did now so I can really see how I faulted myself. No one to blame but myself. NO MORE LATE NIGHT BUTTERED TOAST either. I've got tea.. what more does a girl need besides hot water, tea and splenda? NOTHING.. so stop thinking that I need more. I'm a filling some other void with toast and it doesn't help...

My body confuses me and I'm going to have to take new steps and a new approach to the way I do things. I've been watching Chalene's steps to loose weight vids and the first few are very practical and really are all about collecting the right knowledge so I'm gonna start recording whatever I can find out here.. today. There are some questions I need to answer that are key to figuring out where I need to be and what I need to do. So here goes

How many calories do I burn in a day? (These are a few results I got)

2160 cals

2449

1575

2325

SO I guess the average of all those numbers is 2127.25

Chalene says to round down so I'll make it an even 2000

Now, I need to find out what kind of defecit I need if I want to loose 2 lb per week, which is 3500 cals per pound so I need a defecit of 7000 cals a week. WHAT!?!? 7000 cals? That sounds like a lot so how can I space it out.. back to some math

If to maintain my weight for one week/ 7 days I need to consume 14000 cals then to loose 2 lbs a week I need to make sure I don't consume more than 7000 cals per week. That means my diet literally needs to be 1000 cals per day. So that's it

NO MORE THAN 1000 calories per day!

Chalene says to try to eat the same things daily and to plan it, so let's see if I can come up with some sort of reasonable menu for each day.

I just had a hard boiled egg and that's 70 calories and 4.5 gms of fat

If I then have 1 cup 1% cottage cheese that's 200 cals and 2 gms of fat

add 1/2 cup pineapple and that's 60 calories.

*So I'm at 320 cals and 6.5 grams of fat*

Lunch I could do 2 cups spinach and that'd be 14 calories, 1 cup sliced raw mushrooms is 15 calories, 110 cals and 8 grms of fat per 1/4 cup grated swiss, another 32 cals  from 2 boiled egg whites, I'm sure the onion slices are negligable and then 2tbsp croutons is 35 cals and 1.5 grams of fat. Add my dressing 2 tbsp (low fat bals) at 50 cals and 4 grams of fat and this lunch is a grand total of.....

256 calories and 13.5 grams fat

*now at 576 calories and 20 grams of fat

Protein smoothie- 1 cup skim milk = 80 calories

1 scoop protein powder = 120 cals + 1.5 gms fat

1/2 cup frozen raspberries = 35 cals making this a total of- 235 cals and 1.5 grams of fat.

*now at 811 cals and 21.5 grams of fat*

Dinner= 1 chicken breast = 231 cals and 5 grms fat

           1 cup steamed veggies is 100 cals and

           2 tbsp salsa is 10 calories

and druuummm  roll

1 DAY = 1152 CALS and 26.5 grams of fat

Can I do this till monday when I make up a new diet? Let's see what happens. :)

I had lots of opportunity to blow off today's workout but I didn't, and I feel great. Strong and happy :) I had great energy yesterday night and was in a fantastic mood. I had a great shift, made good money.. all was well in the world. Let's hope tonight is a repeat performance! As for grub yesterday, I planned to give the tummy a break but when I saw Skate Wing on the menu I had to have it. It was pretty good, since I ate it nearly cold, but a nice change. I haven't had anything yet today, but I need to. Didn't plan as I thought I would have, so I'll try again for tomorrow. Gotta shower and will try to eat a fairly standard meal I can repeat tomorrow.