I feel so frustrated by the numbers! Ugg....I see more of a difference than they show...and others do as well! My health numbers are going up...so thats good too! I just feel I am busting butt...literally....and eating right, and its not showing much in measurements...so I feel frustrated!
Other than that....I feel really good. This has brought about huge...HUGE changes in my life...not just food or excersize wise...but life changes...how I think, cope, handle and decide on things. What I find interesting is I am Dealing with the past...the demons that plagued me to become this 389 pound Monster at one time...to the 242 pound person...and finding why I became this way. Why do I turn to food for comfort?!!! Its much like those that turn to pornography, sex, shopping, spending, games, gambling, drinking or drugs...its what makes you comforted at that time that you just want to RUN to something, someone, someplace.....I am learning to stop running from the demons and turn around and Face them!!! It's hard, and scarey!!! I can't begin to tell you the anger and tears that I have shed!!! Reliving the pain...and finding, it hasn't totally changed...it is still there....some of those people who inflicted it are still there in my life and I need to Deal with them, and place my boundaries...and NOT feel bad or guilty about having those boundaries! It is OK for me to have those...to protect me and my heart and my family! I am learning the things NOT to do...to not enable those around me, my children, friends or family....to not place on them what is mine!!! My burdens are mine to deal with...My kids don't need them...I have learned how to become Healthy...Body, Mind and Spirit....it is great and I am becoming more free everyday! Everyday is a NEW day....yesterdays mistakes are over...just make sure you didn't cause others damage in them and if you did or someone damaged you...go to them first and deal with it...cuz if you carry it...you will wear it! You will turn to whatever comforts you and wear it! I don't want to wear it anymore! I'm shedding all the old! Watch out! Here comes the New Wendy!!!
Well....that is what I have been learning and dealing with this past week....I hope maybe it helps someone else too!
thanks for sharing my journey with me! Love to you all and God bless!