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I figured this would be something for me to look at (besides a mirror), and to tell me (and you) whats been going on.

It has been 2 years since my sister received my kidney. Time flies by... I am reporting that my sister is living in relative good health, and I am very glad. She is enjoying every minute. However, I am also going to report that I am not proud of choices she makes in her daily life, and this carries over to me, and my choices as well.

Before the kidney surgery, I was pretty healthy, and pretty consistent in my exercise regimen. I had went from 270-280 lbs to around 190, and then hovered around 210-220 for quite some time. the drs at ucla were very happy about my health in an overall fashion, as I never smoke or drink alcohol, however, they wished i carried less weight. So before they would grant the surgery, I had to prove I could lose a few pounds, and maintain it, so I did, no problem, very simple.

After the surgery, all went well for quite a long period for me, my weight was a little higher, but stable, and I exercised regularly. The dr.s at ucla once again were happy at my overall health, but still wished I carried less weight. My sister had a rough time at the start, her medication was hard on her, but once her body got in gear, she took off real well, losing a lot of weight, and the dr.s and everybody was very happy.

As this last year progressed, I have had to deal with fact that my companys income could no longer match my outlay, so despite all the trimming I could do, I decided it was best to sell my home, and take my cash, and wait for a suitable home that i could afford. this was a pretty depressing event, as i have essentially succeded in every task i had ever set out to accomplish- basicaly, I never lose-ever. However, I lost this round. The good thing is I didnt lose any money, I just had to play another game, starting over, and realize that my income couldnt carry me as far as I wanted. I think this will eventually work to my advantage, as I purchased another home recently, and my monthly outlay is quite reduced... What i didnt mention was that when my previous home sold, I moved my family in with my sister. This was quite easy, as she lived about 1 mile away, and she had a large house, and lived alone (she also kind of owed me a small kidney sized favor). It was quite a financial relief for me, but my wife and kids took it as a slap in the face. i know they were pretty bummed, and missed the big house I had built just to suit them ( it was nice for me as well-trust me). My wife was quite difficult to contend with, as most comments were how she missed her .... and she wished she had ..., made me feel like quite a lousy provider. I feel like I rushed my judgement or process in purchasing this house, but it has provided some relief from my wifes commentary. Everybody has made some sacrifices in this last 6 month period, and I have done my best to make sure that my family is very close to their exact status before the move. It will take a while -(or maybe never) for me to make this house as functional and fitting as my previous home, but I'll do my best, and I'll try to not make the same mistakes as last time.

So now we are relatively up to date, except for one thing, and I think it is a big thing. I have become quite complacent in my food choices, and my familys answers for turmoil and/chaos is always food, and I joined in the process. As much as it bothers me to type this, and as much as it bothers me to report my weight gain, I think it bothers me more to see my sister eat the things that are the root cause for her medical scenario in the first place. So there is the real story, a dilemma causes old eating habits to appear, leading to weight gain. I totally refuse to have a food curse take ahold of my life, and I have to take back my grasp of my well being. As much as I blame my family for continually having mass quantities of food always at the ready (my sister says "no one put a gun to your head"), the food i have eaten was delivered by my own hand. It is my fault. Same goes for my sister. She spent a few hours with a personal trainer yesterday, and then showed up at my house with a bag of cookies (a large bag, and with probably lot missing). this is not acceptable. no more.

The good news is I have always had the answer, and it works perfect when applied. I love to exercise, and I am really good at it. My new house has a small garage, but I have got enough room to get the job done. I have shakeolgy, and supplies. I am totally out of clothes to wear, and I refuse to buy  a larger size. This is it. i have outlined more than enough reasons to proceed with my new habits, and I wont apologize to those that try to push me the other way.

I also wanted to make a few apologies. I had a great team working in the "weight loss" section of Beachbody. I feel like I totally bailed out on them in the confusion and chaos of this spring. I totally apologize to them, and hope to see them somewhere along the line. Some of them were doing so well...damn. I also want to apologize to my friends Lisa nd Marc, as we have been together since the fisrt days in 2007, I have slacked off, and I apologize. We should have been ggrowing together, instead of apart, and I apologize for that. I'll make up for that along the way... Promise.

Will report

C-man