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Sculp 3-4 today.  I started over this week after a 2 week break b/c i got sick and a few other setbacks.  I decided to focus on breathing and form.  breathing makes things so much easier and allows me to push for a few extra reps.  and man do I feel it!  Especially in my legs.  B/c of breathing, I could focus on flexing my muscles during the squats, and by the end of the workout my legs were weak!  That never happens!  So we'll see how this goes.  this will be my core focus through any workout - proper breathing first then form.

I'm pleased to say that I haven't missed a workout since my last entry!  Yay!  lol

Today was different.  I didn't workout until about 630 b/c I had absolutely no energy.  My mom made me a stack of pancakes and I ate them b/c I needed the energy.  (yeah I know I shouldn't have)  I took FOUR hours for me to feel ready to workout.  I didn't like that at all. 

The workout was good.  I'm getting better at beathing and holding my chest up.  which is good.  One thing concerns me though.  I kept feeling these semi-sharp pains in my chest when I would do certain moves like the arm raises.  It really got bad when I did the ab ripper.  If I go all the way down at the beginning and come up for the crunch, I felt the pain more intensely.  It was so bad I had to pause for a few reps.  What I did was I didn't go all the way down for the rep and I was able to get through it. 

This really concerns me b/c this is the same pain I would feel before I started working out when I would make similar motions at my desk like getting up out of the chair.  It's scary.  I think it's related to blood pressure.  Which I am trying to get down. 

I haven't measured it since before I started, but it was considered high.  I have off and on pain in my lower back as well (i'm thinking kidneys).  I know I'm prone to hypertension and I'm trying to get the sodium out of my diet as much as possible, but the options suck!  EVERYTHING is high sodium!  EVERYTHING!    I just don't understand how food manufacturers are allowed to make foods that slowly kill people like this.  It's rediculous!  I can't even go to a "health-conscious" place like Subway and be safe.  Sure, I'm getting only 6 grams of fat in my sandwich, but freaking 700 mg of sodium?!  That's outragious!  And it's unfair that I can't conveniently eat health foods without worrying about something blowing my health out of whack.  I wish there were healthier options that were convenient as well.  I know I can cook my food.  but let's face it.  I'm not great in the kitchen and it is a chore to cook my own food (God help me if it doesn't turn out right)

Oh well, I want to stay alive so I'll do what I must, but something needs to be done about this!  On that note.  StarKist makes low-sodium albacore tuna now.  only 50 mg of sodium per serving!  I'm about to try it now and see how it tastes.

I'm going to reach my goal.  I WILL lose 20 lbs by the end of this program!

So I wieghed in this morning when I got up.  I have to say I'm a little dissappointed.  I weighed in at 284, which is almost 10lbs lower than before, but my body fat percentage was down by 1%.  This lets me know that it was mostly water weight, which means my blood pressure is probably down as well.  That's a good thing.  My waiste and hip measurements are the same.  That's really the most dissappointing part.  This means my clothes still fit the same.  HOWEVER, my pants are starting to loosen up just a little, but that's better than nothing right?

I also notice my legs becoming more defined.  I was doing the ab ripper and I noticed the curve in my inner quads.  I had my fee all the way together and I could see through my quads.   Awesome!  My arms look more defined too, Awesome.  And I can see an ever so slight difference in my face.  Could be my imagination, but who cares lol.

So I guess its not all bad, but i know I can do better.  I think if I had been eating properly, and staying away from bad foods at night, today's weigh in would have been way better.  So I will step it up and try to eat more lean foods from tier 1 and 2.

Today's workout was good.  It was tough  and I worked hard.  I think it was tough because I didn't eat anything before, I just took a vitamin.  That's because when I got up I didn't feel like I needed it.  That's very good, especially considering time!

My shoulders actually started buring during the boxing part of cardio.  That almost never happens, so that tells me it's working.  

I've also been sweating a lot more than usual the past 2 days during my workouts.  That tells me that my body is releasing water!  That' makes me sooooo happy, because it probably means my blood pressure is going down. 

So I'm not where I'd like for them to be, but they are definitely looking up and I am making progress.  For that I am very happy and proud.  I will still reach my goal by January and lose this body fat!  Let's get it!!

Today's workout was pretty hard.  I had to take several breaks.  I know why though.  I didn't eat enough before working out. 

For some reason, I didn't have any energy to workout, even after my usual pre-workout snack.  Probably because I didn't sleep very well last night.  Anyway.  Day 31 is over. 

I have a friend who did p90x with me last year.  He's doing this routine with a trainer similar to p90x.  He's lost 11.5 lbs in 4 weeks!  That's killer.  He was already ripped before, I can only imagine how he looks now.  Anyway, it's proof that a good diet and exercise program will give results.  If he can do this in just 4 weeks, surely I can lose 20 stinkin pounds in 90 days!  It made me want to step up my game so this time will have counted for something.  So far, I have, but I can do better.  In fact, I will do better.  I will eat better, and make healthy choices.  I WILL see these 20lbs lost.  Count on it!

Today completes day 30.  Today's workout was hard.  Mainly because I only had about 4.5 hours of sleep.  It took about 1.25 hours for my food to kick in today too. I think I need to find a quicker solution for getting energized in the morning.  

I was kind of angry because I could feel the excess fat/water inbetween my legs, under my arms and around my waiste.  I'm really not happy about that.  I weighed in on Saturday and I'm down to 290 and 39% body fat.  I'm gonna measure again tomorrow morning before my workout and that will be what I report in my goals. 

If I"m really gonna reach 270 by the end of the 90 days I really need to make better choices.  It's easy to bad.  And when I'm having a bad day or stressed, I tend to use it as a free pass to eat bad.

It occurred to me that I need to improve my overall stress situation.  I remember the first time I lost weight I had a full time permanent job, had my own place and was for the most part independent.  Living my own life.   Now, since I lost my job (also the time when I started gaining weight again), I've been from temp job to temp job,  my parents moved back into their house (so I live with them now), and I don't have a permanent job, so I don't feel confident in moving out b/c i don't know if I'll lose my job. 

I think once these things happen for me, My stress level will go down a little and I'll have less negative stuff to focus on.  I'm doing what I can with my circumstances in the meantime, but every little bit helps right? 

Any way, I'm still going to reach my goal, regardless of my circumstances.  So let's get it!