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Sounds like a simple choice but I realize that our daily choices indicate what decision we've already made. Are you alive? I realize that I have been dead for a long time suppressing my true feelings, thoughts and desires to please others. I've lived an unfulfilled life up to this point. I turn 40 in about a month. I'm not really looking forward to it because I know that I am not livining the life that I am truly capable of. I've tried to change more times than I care to account and began to realize that with a superficial change the results are here today and gone tomorrow. I sometimes feel as if it is time for me to concede to the fact that I will live a mediocre life but there is this urging inside of me that won't allow me to quit. It really is a frustrating cycle of small victories followed by big disappoinments. I feel as if I am in a state of always becoming and never being. I want lasting change. I know that sounds like an oxymoron and I guess that is the point-right? Is there such a thing as lasting change? Maybe the key is that we need to embrace the idea that we are always becoming and through that process simultaneously being. I think I'm on to something here. I would guess that it is truly about enjoying the journey because that is all you really have. Constant challenges keep you in the realm of becoming and simultaneously being. I may be wrong but that is how you would produce lasting change. What do you think?