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I have a hard time blogging about myself, so please bare with me. I wanted to start by writing a little by about myself so you know who I am and a little about my history.

I grew up in Arlington, Washington, but currently living in Salt Lake City, UT. My parents still live in Washington and I try to get home for visits every now and then. Not near as often as I would like though due to time and money.

My sister and her family live here in Utah. She is the reason I moved to Utah. When I first moved here my awesome little nephew was only 1 1/2. I lived with them for the first few months before getting a place of my own. Being able to be here and see him grow up has been wonderful. Now 8 years later I have been considering moving back, but now that I have another newphew (3 months old) how can I leave?

I have been working as a client service coordinator for a training company for the last 5 1/2 years. It is a good job, but extremely stressful. These last few months have really taken a toll on me. I'm so exhausted all the time I have no energy to do anything when I leave work. Heck, I'm exhausted by 2:00 and feel like laying my head down on my computer to take a nap. LOL It has to be a combination of stress, not eating right, never working out. and not balancing my work/personal life.

I am not new to workout and diet programs. I did Jenny Craig for the first time when I was 12, then again at 19 and then again at 25. ha ha I like programs like that because I am clueless when it comes to cooking. Having it all laid out there for me where I can grab it and go is so convenient. But honestly, what has it taught me? I do the program until I can't afford it anymore and I'm back to my old eating habits.

Back to when I was 12. I wasn't extremely overweight, but I was going to get there is we didn't work on it. My mom was always a health nut, at least when I was young. She was active at the gym and competed in bodybuilding shows when she was in her early 40s. We would get up before school each morning and do Sweatin To The Oldies. Good 'ole Richard Simmons. I think of him still any time I hear any of those songs.

Then in my 20's I was probably about 25-30 pounds overweight. I did a few starvation diets (I know! BAD), but I did. Dropped some weight, gained back more. What a vicious cycle? It's funny though because I thought I was so big then and now when I look back on those pictures, I think, MAN, if I could just look like THAT again. ha ha

I tried some other diets and purchased all kinds of workout videos. I have the Slimn6 series, HipHopAbs, Taibo, Susan Powder, Jane Fonda ... ok, this list could be quite long, so I'll stop there. The problem is that I'll be REALLY motivated for about 2 weeks and then I'll miss a day, or two, or three and then feel like I have totally blown it and quit.

OK, so I turned 31 TODAY. Yes, I am writing my first post on my birthday. I am now about 55 pounds heavier than I would like to be. Heavier than I have ever been. I have NO energy to do anything, let alone get to work in the morning and make it for 8 hours. I have trouble concentrating on things. I hate getting cleaned up (finding something that fits and even putting make up on) I am completely unhappy with my current self.

What do I want? Well, a hot body for one. ha ha, well, who doesn't? I want to feel like I'm 20 again. I want to have energy to do things after work. Shoot, I want to have energy to get through work. I don't want to feel like a slug anymore. I want to open up all all those boxes of skinny (or skinnier) clothes that I never got rid of. I want to go buy skinnier clothes because my old clothes are too big. I don't want to feel like taking a nap the second I get home. I want to learn how to eat healthy, and actually cook healthy .... and maybe learn how to cook ??? I want to feel strong and healthy.