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I have had a lifetime of food and weight issues. I was a chubby kid and went on my first 1200 calorie diet at 10 years old. Being fat was the absolute worse thing imaginable. I wanted to be skinny so badly.

At 15 and 160 pounds I decided that I was not going to be fat any longer so I basically quit eating. I LOVED the fact that I was losing weight and after three months had lost 50 pounds.

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I have had a lifetime of food and weight issues. I was a chubby kid and went on my first 1200 calorie diet at 10 years old. Being fat was the absolute worse thing imaginable. I wanted to be skinny so badly.

At 15 and 160 pounds I decided that I was not going to be fat any longer so I basically quit eating. I LOVED the fact that I was losing weight and after three months had lost 50 pounds. Living on Diet Pepsi and one meal a day seemed like the perfect diet plan. I restricted my calorie intake to 800 a day.

I had tennis practice after school and would go home and immediately go to my room where I could avoid food. I would basically do my homework, write in my food journal (about what I did not eat), and go to bed, literally exhausted.

Losing weight became an obsession. I would say I was anorexic, although never formally diagnosed. Of course, there were times I would have to give into cravings and then I discovered it was even better to eat whatever I wanted, as long as I purged afterward. For years I went between starving myself for a few weeks at a time, to gorging myself and purging many times per day. I never thought I was thin enough and constantly made unrealistic weight-loss goals (89 pounds, 80 pounds, etc).

Thankfully, my family was very supportive and helped me through it, although it was a difficult road. I didn't want to eat because I couldn't stand the thought of gaining weight, but I knew that I would die if I did not eat. The scary realization was that I didn't know what was worse.

For 20 years I went between bulimia to compulsive exercising to trying to eat healthfully, and then back to bulimia. I have stopped purging for the most part, although there are still slip ups.

Now I find myself at 40 years old and 60 pounds over weight! I don't feel what I think 40 feels like, I still feel 25, thankfully. I think regular exercise is to thank for that. I love exercise and actually was AFAA certified to teach group fitness classes (although my current schedule doesn't allow me to). My workouts now just are not really enough to compensate for overeating and poor food choices.

I work full time, am in college part-time, am a freelance artist, and take care of my own personal zoo. I hate to cook which makes eating healthfully difficult. I find myself eating a Totino's party pizza or cereal for dinner, after eating out for lunch many days. It is a recipe for disaster.

Although I do not feel middle-aged, I am... so I NEED to make a change in my eating habits now before it is too late. I know WHAT to do, I just need to get past the stress eating, past the "no time to cook" excuses, etc. and get healthy! I do not want to have knee issues and other obesity-related problems. It is ridiculous to let myself get to that point when I know exactly how to stop it. I just need the motivation now. Which is why I am here!

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