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I turn 40 years old this year - in less than 10 months. I have NEVER been in any kind of physical condition - always just a little chubby until I was in my teens, and then I was slender until I had my first child - where I gained a whopping 60 lbs. I had actually never felt better in my life! than when I was pregnant as I was focussing on "eating the food guide" - sticking to healthy choices.

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I turn 40 years old this year - in less than 10 months. I have NEVER been in any kind of physical condition - always just a little chubby until I was in my teens, and then I was slender until I had my first child - where I gained a whopping 60 lbs. I had actually never felt better in my life! than when I was pregnant as I was focussing on "eating the food guide" - sticking to healthy choices. Before, when I was less than 100 lbs, I was always sick or tired. My diet consisted of crap and more crap - I was a binge eater - eating everything I liked and nothing that was really that good for me. I was this way from very early on in my life - if I didn't like what my mom made for supper, I made my own and ate that. They never objected as it was usually somewhat healthy - toasted tomato sandwiches, pb&j, apple with peanut butter. As I got older, my choices included more fast food, more crap. As for exercise - well, that was for jock type people, not me. I much preferred to read a good book. I never got in any kind of exercise program, played any sports - I did like to dance in my teens and going to clubs was about the only exercise I got. As I have aged, I have found myself gaining weight - getting up to a startling 165 lbs - and once while taking my daughters tobogganing, I though I was going to have a heart attack. that scared me - I was 37 years old and huffing and puffing like I was COPD and 90! I joined a running clinic with a girlfriend, and completed the learn to run program, and then I entered my first 5k - which I was pleased to actually finish. Running however good it was for me, was really not my bag. I have a 38F bust, adn the bouncing was painful to tolerate. It did help me lose the first 20 lbs, so last year, I went down to 145 lbs. Then I tried the H****l M***c program - and went down to 127 lbs - I was exercising faithfully, swimming, running, etc. - really watching what I ate - but it was so expensive! Then, when it was summer, and all my favourite blender drinks tasted so good, and my favourite activity was to sit on the deck in the sunshine, read my book or visit with my neighbor and have a little cocktail or too, I got lazy. I had a thousand excuses, I was busy with the kids, and then busy getting them back to school, and I was going to get around to it. Teh longer it took, the harder it got. I was scared to get on the scale - and when I did - I was right back where I started. Hello?? Reality Check. I finally realized that this has to be a journey, not a destination. I can't just lose weight, and then go back to my bad habits - and I can't be such a rotten example for my girls, either. I wan tot be healthier, and look great. I really believe I can do this - I need to do this for ME - to feel good about myself finally, to accomplish something and keep it an accomplishment instead of a fond memory! but I'm going to need a lot of help! My husband and daughters are great supporters, but I think the combo of them, and the other p90 participants will really help to keep me on track, and positive that I can do this!

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