My name is Michele and I am the mother of 2 wonderful kids, Austin-8 & Jessica -15.
But to take a trip back in time......20 years ago for instance, I was an exercise guru. In fact, I used to teach advanced aerobics, sometimes twice a day. When I was 21 years old, I was so dedicated to my exercise routines that I wouldn't go out on a date if he couldn't wait for me to workout first....
SO WHAT
My name is Michele and I am the mother of 2 wonderful kids, Austin-8 & Jessica -15.
But to take a trip back in time......20 years ago for instance, I was an exercise guru. In fact, I used to teach advanced aerobics, sometimes twice a day. When I was 21 years old, I was so dedicated to my exercise routines that I wouldn't go out on a date if he couldn't wait for me to workout first....
SO WHAT HAPPENED? I went through some very difficult and hard times and, honestly, didn't really care any more and, to be honest, I didn't want anyone noticing me, I chose to be done with relationships....Yes, to be invisible was my goal.... I have come to realize that I am not just hurting myself, but my kids. They see me as their role model and, in an indirect way, I have to question myself as to my choices for ME, that my actions are speaking louder than my words for them. How can I encourage them to continue to eat properly and exercise to be healthy, if I don't?! Although a rhetorical question, it leads into the truth.
I have been from one extreme to the other as far as my weight and years back I went through an eating disorder that could have very easily taken my life, but God had other wonderful things ahead of me. Ironically, I wouldn't have cared back then, because being thin became too important to me. I certainly wouldn't have been able to handle my current weight now. So in a way, one could say I GOT COMFORTABLE and stopped trying, maybe that is a way to tolerate and cope.
For the majority of my life I was a healthy 125-130 lbs. aside from the drop in weight with the anorexia, whereas I ended up in the 90s range to the embarrassing 209 lb. range now... HOLY COW... YES ME.. I moved inland and started commuting 1.5-2 hrs a day EACH way to work, started eating on the run and was too tired to exercise, not to mention the fact I wrote off relationships. Within a few short years, I gained over 60 lbs.
Sadly, I have learned how my weight controls more than just how I feel about myself. It has shown me how I am received in the work environment. When I was 118-125 lbs and dressing in professional clothing only I would wear then, to being 200+ lbs and having to dress in a manner consistent with my current weight, has been eye opening to me. I have heard people, on many occasions, stating that VERY FACT. But, until you live it, it changes your perspective and you see things for what they are.
I have to, for myself, find myself again and not let this control who I am any longer. This is not me, nor what I was supposed to become. I was always very energetic, outgoing and positive and although I still possess these qualities, they are hindered and limited for obvious reasons. They are not to the point where they should be. I started loosing weight and actually lost 40 lbs up until the time I lost my mother to cancer this past summer... Sadly, I lost her, but found all the weight back... I know that I've been really sad and dealing with too much stress and IT SHOWS. I can't hide any more.
I know my stress level is way out of control and that has been my #1 killer of my positive outlook and a big cause of my weight gain... But, I NEED THIS HELP and I joined this program in an attempt to succeed. I have been notorious for starting and not finishing my goals and, that again, isn't how I used to be, but it is how I have become. I do not have a support system and I don't have the option to join a gym at the present, so I am hopeful I can find what I need with this program.
I am a strong believer in DIET COMBATTED WITH EXCERCISE is the KEY to success (one will not work without the other). I just need some help with the MOTIVATIONAL PART.... OKAY, not just "Some", but A LOT... Granted, NO ONE CAN TRULY HELP ME BUT ME.... But, none-the-less, it would be a huge help....
I had my daughter take my photos today for my journal and I about fell over... I know since I've gained the 40 lbs back since July, it's more concentrated on my torso and tummy and is VERY uncomfortable. I've MADE A PROMISE TO MY DAUGHTER TO DO THIS SO I NEED THE HELP TO MAKE IT.
So change is eminent. If I cannot do this now, or find the strength and motivation I need to succeed, I know in my heart, I WILL NEVER DO THIS...
I have to do this for me, first and foremost... So to improve my health, weight, life style and person as a whole, I improve the future of my kids in all the ways above. But without a support system, I run the risk of failure. I need an exercise buddy to say the least and, although I do have some health issues that will cause me to have to MODIFY some of the exercises I've seen on the DVDs, but I am dedicated to putting my best foot forward and I’m looking forward to the impact and change this will have on me and my family.
Hence, I haven't been happy w/ too much stress and IT SHOWS.
Now I'm accountable – A PICTURE'S WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, nor do they lie.
(can you please hide this photo?, it's embarrassing)
