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Eating disorders are real. They are scary. But with the right support, they can be managed and cured. If you or someone you love is affected, please reach out for help.

I am a recovered anorexic. But can I really say recovered? Each day I retrain my brain a little more. I struggle to be okay with the weight and size I am, repeating my mantra: more than a number. After starting my fitness journey

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Eating disorders are real. They are scary. But with the right support, they can be managed and cured. If you or someone you love is affected, please reach out for help.

I am a recovered anorexic. But can I really say recovered? Each day I retrain my brain a little more. I struggle to be okay with the weight and size I am, repeating my mantra: more than a number. After starting my fitness journey I know I'm not perfect, but I'm healthy and I *feel* better. My confidence grew after completing P90x and continues as I completed my 90 days with Rev Abs. I lost 16.25" since July 2012 - as of October 9, 2012. I now continue my fitness journey with a hybrid workout of P90x and Rev Abs.

As for my anorexia, why I got that way - how I thought I was fat enough to warrant starving myself - all I can say is dysmorphia. Think carnival fun house mirrors that distort your image, it sounds silly but it's very real. I know when it started: a comment from an acquaintance, a few extra pounds and a lack of exercise. I was what I like to call "skinny-fat" until about two years ago. I looked thin but I was very unhealthy as I first started my cardio and hit a 180 heart rate within minutes.

I now enjoy working out, and I need energy to do so. Anorexia is not an option with rigorous exercise. Period.

I am realistically aware that my family loves me for who I am, and I understand I am at an ideal weight for my frame. I am extremely thankful that I found Beachbody. I am surrounded by healthy, supportive people - even when I stumble a little.

I caught myself in an unconscious relapse, consuming 900 calories a day and exercising hard. I was able to supplement lost calories with Shakeology while I tracked what I was consuming daily and retrained my brain to realize what I need to eat.

The scale has never been an arch enemy, but in a way, I use it against myself. "I'll just check to make sure I'm not over xxx pounds." I've finally learned to go by *how* I feel and measurements, not my weight. I weigh 144 pounds. The most I have weighed since I became anorexic at 15 years of age. I will discourage anyone who gauges their progress by weight alone. I have gained ten pounds in the last 90 days, but I say again: I am healthy. If I worked out and expected pounds to melt, I'd quit. Muscle weighs more. I weigh 144 pounds yet I fit into a size four. This is why I do not own a scale. It messes with my brain.

I have spent thousands of dollars treating and repairing the damage I did to my body. Malnourishment can and will lead to hair loss, rotten teeth and other deficiencies and health problems- I suffered migraines for years. For the sake of being skinny I paid such an enormous expense. What I've learned from Beachbody: I am more than a number. Not the size of my jeans or the pounds I weigh. I am healthy, and that's a gift.

Health IS wealth. Set realistic goals for yourself. Make your health your priority, take measurements and gauge your progress by how you feel. Not just by what the scale reads. You are more than a number.

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