Orlando, FL
I am a wife and stay at home mom to four daughters. Three of my girls are still at home and are now teens. As a kid, I was given a few nicknames for my size by members of my own family. These names destroyed me without anyone ever knowing it. I had no self esteem, no confidence, no sense of worth or value.
I have battled my weight most of my life. I have done every diet I could find; taken every
I am a wife and stay at home mom to four daughters. Three of my girls are still at home and are now teens. As a kid, I was given a few nicknames for my size by members of my own family. These names destroyed me without anyone ever knowing it. I had no self esteem, no confidence, no sense of worth or value.
I have battled my weight most of my life. I have done every diet I could find; taken every pill; embraced every fad. You name it and I've been on it. Of course, none of the diets or fads ever saw lasting effects. After having my twins, weight loss became even harder. I was so busy with my family that I put myself aside. I love my family very much and will do anything for them; even giving up on myself. Slowly, but steadily, the pounds crept up on me. Eventually, even mindlessly, I accepted it all as my life. What everyone had always told me was now true.
I hated what saw in the mirror. I despised who I had become. Frankly, I didn't even know that person in the mirror looking back at me. I wouldn't look in the mirror unless absolutely necessary. When I got dressed I just hoped I looked good because I wasn't about to face the reflection n the mirror to make sure I did. I wouldn't let my kids or anyone else take pictures of me. If I saw a picture with me in it I couldn't see anything other than how ugly I was. Just the thought of a picture terrified me. And I would get angry if someone insisted on a picture. I didn't go places; I hated being in public. Didn't want to meet anyone or go anywhere. The thought of my girls having a fat mom was one of the worst things I have ever had to think about. I didn't want them to be embarrassed by me.
The heavier I became, the longer I stayed overweight, the more my health declined. I began to go see doctors for all of my health issues. I was tired, unhappy, suffering with no self esteem, and looked at an empty bank account from doctors and expensive medications. I hurt all over and no one had any real answers. One more pill, one more test, one more bill. I couldn't do it anymore. I was hurting my family and myself.
My brother is a cancer survivor who is now in the best shape of his life. He began to talk to me about exercise and fitness and how he survived cancer because of it. He believed that this was the answer to my weight and health. He believed that once I gained control of my weight and fitness that I would become physically strong and that my self esteem would grow as well. I knew he was right. Deep inside, I knew that my battle with weight was never going to end unless I took control of it the right way. No starvation, fad or pill was ever going to work. I agreed to a program he set up for me and I determined that this time I was going to win the war.
I want to be in pictures with my family. I want to go outside of my house and be proud, confident and positive instead of worrying about my size. I want to buy nice clothes and actually look in the mirror to see them on me. I want to be strong for my girls and help my family to be healthy.
