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I'm 25 years old and sooo tired of being tired. When I was a kid I was pretty fit, but when puberty reared its ugly head I started packing on weight even though I was pretty active. I joined my high school's swim team and competed from 7th grade through 12th grade. In 10th grade I no longer had to take gym classes and shot up to 210lbs. After my last swimming season was done in 12th grade

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I'm 25 years old and sooo tired of being tired. When I was a kid I was pretty fit, but when puberty reared its ugly head I started packing on weight even though I was pretty active. I joined my high school's swim team and competed from 7th grade through 12th grade. In 10th grade I no longer had to take gym classes and shot up to 210lbs. After my last swimming season was done in 12th grade (Winter of 2001) my weight went up to 230lbs. Through college and work I went up to 250lbs. And when I found out this spring (Spring of 2009) that the store I worked at was closing I went into a mild depression. By the time I realized I'd gone off the deep end so-to-speak, I'd already hit 275lbs. My size 20 jeans are too tight in the thighs and pinch uncomfortably in the waist. My paunch rests on the tops of my thighs when I sit down and my gut sticks out in an ugly bulge under my clothes. I've found that if I sit for too long, when I stand up my right hip will shoot a horrible pinching pain across my pelvis and down my leg. My back aches when I wake up in the morning and at the end of the day. One of my best friends is getting married in July of 2010 and I'm afraid of where I'll be if I don't start taking control of myself right now. I HAVE to change. I HAVE to improve myself. If I don't I'll end up dead by the time I'm 50.

I want to have kids and a family, but I have no confidence because I feel so insecure about my weight. I'm the largest of any of my friends by far, and when we dress up nice and go out I feel hideous standing next to them. I want to change that. I want to feel comfortable enough to draw attention to myself instead of hiding. I feel like I'm never going to find someone to love me for who I am inside if I can't shed the unfit, unattractive outside.

Several years ago I saw an infomercial for Slim in 6. It got me really excited and I bought it and used it for a few weeks, but like so many things of that nature I lost interest because of the repetition. Just recently found the TurboJam line and I got really excited again. I've ordered it and I'm eagerly waiting for it to arrive so that I can get started. Meanwhile I started using the Slim in 6 videos again, and I've brought myself back down to 265lbs, but it's not enough.

I don't know what to set as a goal for myself. I just want to lose as much weight as I can by the time my friend's wedding rolls around next July. If I could get down to 200lbs for the wedding I would be elated. Eventually I want to get down to perhaps as low as 160lbs. I'm 5'7" and I have broad shoulders (possibly broad hips as well, I'm not sure, and I've honestly never seen my hips in my adult life, they're too well padded) so I'm not sure what a healthy weight would be. I don't particularly want to be ripped or overtly muscular, I just want to be healthy. I want to be able to put on a swimming suit and feel good about myself. I want people to look at me a not think "Ugh, what a whale."

I can do it. I can do it. I can. I will.

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