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It all began as a child. I was always a little "pudgy". My grandma found a photo in the Grit magazine of a woman who was over 300 lbs. She cut it out and put it on the refrigerator, and told me that I had to control my food or it would control me. It was the worst reverse psychology ever, because I was emotionally eating. I "maintained" through my school years, but was never

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It all began as a child. I was always a little "pudgy". My grandma found a photo in the Grit magazine of a woman who was over 300 lbs. She cut it out and put it on the refrigerator, and told me that I had to control my food or it would control me. It was the worst reverse psychology ever, because I was emotionally eating. I "maintained" through my school years, but was never happy with how I felt about myself. Looking back at photos, I had no reason to feel that way!

Eventually life began to unfold, marriage, babies, cooking for a family... the roller coaster began. Lbs would creep onto me, and I would spend a concentrated effort to fight them off. Never once truly reaching my goal, but becoming comfortable and losing interest and motivation, or being distracted by life. This yo-yo lifestyle has been cycling up and down the scale from 160 lbs to 225 lbs for years, and I have definitely lost count of the number of times I have been able to exclaim "I've lost over 40 lbs!"

Only one time, and its almost three years ago now. I made a decision to get healthy. I tell you, it is hard work. I will not sugar-coat a single thing, to make anyone think this is a quick fix. I decided that my life, my future, my children, and grandchildren... depended upon my health. And I was not wrong. So I studied. Researched. Set goals. Became determined and focused. Literally CHANGED myself from the inside out. I reprogrammed all my previous learning, primarily from media sources (negative!), to solid, calculated, driven, educated choices for my health.

It did not start with jogging, and especially not just by doing the "anti-white diet" The hardest, yet most important part, is that I changed my thinking. It must begin with what is important to you. Is watching TV and eating chips important? Sure it is! But is it more important than your health? Bringing the long term obscurities into focus by comparing them with short term instant gratification really sheds some light on what your priorities are.

Kids, what I'm trying to say is... this is not a short term "get fixed quick" scheme. This is not a DIET. (What a negative word!!) THIS... is a lifestyle. This is not weightloss, it is HEALTHGAIN. (Yes, my word!)

NOW. I am preaching to myself here. ONLY BECAUSE... After 20 months of hard committed work; gym, nutrition, daily tracking, analyzing, restructuring goals, more research, P90X... and closer than EVER BEFORE to my goal...I was feeling SO SO SUPER GOOD, maybe even a little invincible... SO... I allowed myself a little indulgence, and I felt myself begin to slip, then slide, then stumble, then not just to fall off but to completely crash the whole wagon. If ever there was a good example, this is a great one of "Pride goeth before the fall..."

After 9 months of not focusing, the lbs found me again. SO, Being the emotional type of person that I am. I had hurt my own feelings. I started to believe the negatives again, and that "obviously" I had not given it all of my all, and that something must truly be wrong with my head.

Has anyone else ever been here? LOL (Just curious!) ANYWAY, this brings me to today. Not a new beginning at all, but a regrouping of my programming. Shutting off the negatives, and reinforcing the positives. It's a PROCESS, and cannot all happen on ONE DAY. I will however, not be depending on an outside source to affirm my value, but know my own worth to myself. I am not doing this for any reason other than this is what "I" want. Not for someone, not for some thing... not looks, success, fortune or any other reason, but just because I know I can be stronger than letting the wagon run me over and leave me in the ditch! LOL

It's come full circle, time for me to drive what has been driving me. I thank my Grandma for that one. Come with me, for no other reason, but for you.

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