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I am a 41 year old landscape designer at a landscape architecture firm in Orange County. We do a LOT of sitting in front of the computer in this profession and that combined with my poor eating habits have made me overweight. I'm not obese, but have no interest in getting there. I haven't worn a bikini since elementary school and haven't worn sleeveless tops since junior high school. Looking

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I am a 41 year old landscape designer at a landscape architecture firm in Orange County. We do a LOT of sitting in front of the computer in this profession and that combined with my poor eating habits have made me overweight. I'm not obese, but have no interest in getting there. I haven't worn a bikini since elementary school and haven't worn sleeveless tops since junior high school. Looking back, I had a decent body in high school. I sure wish I would have appreciated it then! I was about a size 6-8 but had no muscle development and a poor self image.

Now, I am a size 10. I am semi-active when not at work. I used to do 1/2 hour lunch time workouts about 3-4 times a week and trail riding on my mountain bike on weekends. In January I fell heels-over-head (literally) on my bicycle, separating my shoulder and shredding my ligaments. Thankfully, it did not need surgery, but what weight I had started to lose by biking was gained back in the six months of recovery. My shoulder is much weaker than it used to be, but I've been building that up and preparing to start the P90X routine by taking 1 hour fitness classes at a local gym, 5-6 days a week.

I have so many dreams in life and realized that I'm not going to be able to do as many as I'd like if I don't get fit and take control of my weight. No amount of complaining/whining has made the weight go away. I'm tired of talking about it and am ready to make it happen. This is the biggest gift I can give myself. I am even taking the first week of the program off from work so I can get used to the food preparation portion of the program. I don't want to make ANY excuses.

It's been really difficult to find a "good" time to start. There is always a birthday you want to celebrate (usually by eating poorly and drinking alcohol), a graduation, getting together with friends you haven't seen in years (more eating poorly and drinking), weddings, Mother's Day, Father's Day, baby shower....you get the picture. So many excuses to eat poorly and drink!!! So I am just going to have to say no to some of these or just a conditional no (no more eating out and drinking). If I am feeling that I will give in to temptation, I'll pass entirely so I don't put myself in that position. I really want to do this for myself and I am sure my friends and family will understand.

I think it is more a personal anxiety of mine than a reality that my friends will try to coerce me into going out and partying with them "just this once". It's never just once, now is it? Then the next friend will want to hang out and eat or drink "just this once". When I stop and think about it, I realize that much of what keeps us from our goals is our own personal anxieties and not our realities. Our perceptions, based on our fears, keep us from truly trying to reach our dreams and giving it our all.

I'm tired of that cycle. The only one that can break it is me. I've looked at my life, how I feel about myself, and examined what is keeping me from reaching my goals. Enough is enough. I'm ready to bring it!

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