Team Beachbody ¡preestreno!Español Guest

From the ages of 14-16, I struggled with both anorexia and bulimia. My life was controlled by the number on the scale. The number was expected to drop everyday, and if it didn’t vomiting, extreme work outs, and starvation were a few of my self punishments. On “good” days I could lose 3 lbs if I did everything according to my rules. The Atkins diet was very popular during this time, and I lived in literal fear of carbs. I don’t think I ate them for at least 2 years. I remember wondering if I could ever eat a potato again, and to this day I’m not very fond of bread. I was eventually wearing a double “0” pant size and at the same height I am today, 5’5”, I finally dropped below 100 lbs and started randomly blacking out. I don’t actually know my lowest weight, as the scales were eventually taken from me completely. I was put in a hospital where they monitored my eating and made me drink things like Ensure to rebuild my bone mass, as it, too, was deteriorating. I was put on several “emergency weight gain” medications, and/or medicines with the side effect of weight gain. After starving myself for so long, it was actually painful to eat something, so I had a medicine for that too, which I had to take before eating to minimize pain.

The next few years is all a blur of doctor after doctor trying to “fix” my problems with medicine. The pill originally meant to help me gain weight turned out to be very addicting and doubled as an anti-depressant, so doctor after doctor left me on it even after I had reached a "healthy" weight. My mind couldn’t afford to quit, without risk of near suicide. My body was on a steady increase for the next 4 years. At first I wasn’t eating any different, but was still gaining weight. My anorexic brain couldn’t wrap around what was happening to my body, and I developed an intense self-hate. Doctors continued to add to my pill-intake so many different times. Every time I went for a visit, a doctor I wasn’t familiar with spoke to me for literally 5 minutes and wrote a new prescription adding something new. I remember not being able to tell the difference between dream and reality for a few months. Eventually, as my body continued to grow, my original eating disorder problem got overlooked and doctors tried to untangle the web of medicines they had got me dependent on.

I was in such a dazed state of mind for the first year or two, I don’t think I was even aware of my body actually changing. Suddenly I looked down and my jeans were a size 20. Imagine the horrendous effects of a body going from a double “0” to a 20 in under two years. I couldn’t bear the thought of getting jeans any bigger than that, so I only wore pants with an elastic waste for the next two years. I hated everything about my body. My first year of college I tried to join a walking/jogging class but had to quit out of embarrassment of not being able to jog. I couldn’t bare to be the fat girl walking while everyone else lapped me again and again. Only two years before that I could run a mile in well under 7 minutes! What had happened to me?? This is when I realized the full extent of my situation. I wanted my mind back and body back, but getting off my medicine was a risky thing, something doctors were obviously not interested in helping me with. I had tried so many times before to quit on my own, but failed miserably each time, almost losing my life on several occasions. But, thanks to a friend who noticed my struggle and committed to praying me through my journey, I finally decided to trust God with my body and mind and leaned on Him where I knew I was weak. It was one of the hardest things I ever did, but it was my first step to stop the weight gain. I started waking up before light every morning to jog in the dark so no one could see the fat girl trying to run. I made a conscious effort not to get second servings at my meals, and very slowly my body started to change. I averaged working out once or twice a week, mostly secretly jogging or using elliptical machines.

When I moved to Arlington in 2008, my work out life was super boring: jogging along the access road, lifting weights in my apartment fitness room while some ungodly news program blared on in the background. I’m usually pretty self-motivated, so I would get my work outs in, but it was always a dreaded necessary thing. That’s when a friend introduced me to the Turbo Jam DVD’s. Wow! A whole new world opened up to me. Literally. Could working out really be fun? Yes, and not only that, there’s a whole community of people who think so! I’ve been hooked on Turbo for about 7 months now and for the first time am seeing actual muscle definition in my body. Not only that but my endurance has gone through the roof. When I started Turbo, I pretty much threw jogging out the window. Over Thanksgiving break I decided to try just to see how long I could go and I ran 3 miles with ease even though it had been months since I jogged. Working out on average 5 days a week, fitness is a big part of my life now.

Because of my previous obsession with the scale, I haven’t weighed myself since 2001. So, I literally don’t know how much I weighed at my heaviest nor how much I have lost since then. I do know that I’ve lost 14 pant sizes…that has to count for something, right?

As for my current health and fitness goals, I want to focus on using food as fuel for my body. I’m usually pretty good about eating healthy. I am a firm believer that if you don’t buy junk, you can’t eat it. Eating is so much more than just food that tastes good, it’s actually the stuff that keeps us going. I lost my mom in February 2010 at the age of 44 to stomach cancer caused by an untreated genetic stomach condition called H.Pylori. When my mom got sick, we all started looking into this stomach condition. If you know you have it, it can be treated and even prevented with proper nutrition. My mom was the kind, like most I think, who took care of everyone else before herself. She dealt with pain, and moved on. She gave her energy to her job and to her kids and never left any for her personal health and fitness. From the moment she found out about her cancer, she started trying to eat right. She became very aware of healthy eating choices and tried to inform others in the family of our genetic condition and how it could all be prevented by proper health and fitness. I’m taking my mom’s advice and making a conscious effort to prioritize my health. It’s so important to know our bodies and to treat them right. They are such power houses, but can be so fragile at the same time. Getting fit is not just a phase for me, it’s a lifestyle. I hope to help other’s see it that way, too.