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My highest weight was 218. It showed in the Christmas photos I recently had developed. I was so disgusted at the way I looked. So I cut down on my portion size of food. I was more aware of the foods I ate. The pounds slowly came off. It seems no matter the diet- I would be heavy.
Then my back gave out. I was flat on my back for 3 days. My husband and son had to help me sit up and get out of

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My highest weight was 218. It showed in the Christmas photos I recently had developed. I was so disgusted at the way I looked. So I cut down on my portion size of food. I was more aware of the foods I ate. The pounds slowly came off. It seems no matter the diet- I would be heavy.
Then my back gave out. I was flat on my back for 3 days. My husband and son had to help me sit up and get out of bed so I could try to get to the bathroom. They would again assist me back to my bed.
It occurred to me- if my husband had trouble helping me now,how would he be able to help me if I continued to gain weight as I got older. I don't want to be 50 and fat. How would I be able to help him if he needs me in the same matter. I knew I must lose this weight, but it has to be more than diet. I had to get moving!
I had been dealing with depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for years. Medications were not helping. Flashbacks of the years of isolation and negaitive words and somtimes the attack would come flooding back again and again. I am a Survivor Of Domestic Violence...

"He (ex-husband)had broken my spirit!He kept me from reaching out to famiy and friends long ago.Jobs never lasted very long.Then baby came and things got worse. He threaten my family and me.
The day he threaten my baby- I left with my baby. He found me at work and attacked me with a butcher knife. Striking me several times. First the left side of my head,then upper shoulder,wrist and again on the head. It felt like a dull thud each he sliced me. It's amazing how your body will protect itself from pain.He was stopped by some strangers. He cut some of them with the knife before he fled into a waiting vehicle. These people saved my life!! I was airlifted to the hospital.
My 3year old baby was now alone in the shelter; with mothers in the same sitituation.
I can remember every detail today. The most mememorable moment was in the helicopter. I must have slipped away at this time. It became completely quiet. I could no longer hear the helicopter. There was a sense of peace surrounding me with a soft bright light. Then I saw a hand with my Grandmother's ruby ring on it. The voice said ;" Tracy ,you can come home now." I reaached for the hand and suddenly pulled my hand away, I said I could not come now; my baby is all alone.
Next thing I remember is going through the emegency room doors .The pain was terrible now! Arriving at the hospital, the staff went into protection mode. They were pros at domestic attacks. They ask who had done this and where is he now? They changed my name, stitched me up and sent me up to a single guarded room.
As I laid there, hours had passed, I realized, nobody knew where I was, or what had happened. I WAS COMPLETLEY ALONE!! I was HUMBLED... AND ALIVE! My baby was alone and in a shelter several miles away. I could not get to my baby. I could lift my arm.All my clothes had be taken for evidence. I bursted into tears. I was so very tired...
Then two female police officers came into the room carrying a camera. They had been crying. They told me they were to go to the morgue and take photos.But on the way down the stairs to the morgue they were stopped and told I was not there but upstairs in a guarded room. They said my ex had not been found.There was so much blood where the crime had been committed , no one had thought me to be alive.
I realized the only way to have left this man -it's the only way this could have happened. I knew the minute I called police 2days before and said this is a domestic violence in progress; I was dead. He was later found and served his restraining order and jailed.
The following days were just as bad.Fear set in and stayed for years. We moved over 20 times just to stay in the area for the court.But when I realized we were only witnesses for the court, I ran again, back into 3 more shelters in 3 different states.There was no peace for years and this took a toll on us both.
It's been several years and sessions of very good counseling. When you need someone in your corner, a victim's advocate and a counselor can be a world of support. There should be a victim's advocate in every Police Department in this country. Anyone with children that are in an abusive relationship; GET OUT and GET COUNSELING!!!You can not get on with your life without the help of experienced counselors. The other important step in healing is forgiving. You can forgive but don't forget. That's what I did.
I'm giving this a shot. This internet business. Putting my story out here. Hoping to help anyone I can. I am conquering fear and starting to live. I am regaining my SPIRIT!!!! I arrive here with absolutley nothing but the will to live. Sooo, HERE I AM!!!!
Beachbody is full of support. Positive everything!!! Do YOU want to be part of something GREAT? Exercising and taking care of yourself . How can we take care of others if we do not take care of ourselves? Let this be YOUR first step to a HAPPY AND HEALTHY LIFE!!!!Join ME and TEAM BEACHBODY!!!

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